Apocalypse Postponed

Yesterday, in one of those your-life-flashing-in-front-of-your-eyes moments, my MacBook failed to load anything from the menus. A disappearing-down-the-toilet moment as well, since my life is on this laptop and I don’t have any other computers, not even a mobile phone. With repeated tries – Douglas Adams  had something to say about this endearing yet stupid human trait – nothing persistently continued to happen.

While it wasn’t happening, a terrible, fatalistic calm descended on me, a sort of spiritual numbness. Then it occurred to me to try loading Chrome directly from the hard drive, just as they did in pioneer days. And it worked. Now I could afford the luxury of a post-traumatic panic. Because my computer is a really sick puppy, has been so intermittently for a while, but every time it works right I forget about a) looking into getting it fixed, b) shoving everything I possibly can into the Cloud, and c) backing stuff up on a regular basis.

So I bought a reconditioned MacBook online, just like the old one, with a more recent OS, twice the RAM, and a DVD drive that isn’t warped by overheating to the point where it’s unusable. And I promised to be a born-again, proactive bear, and get some kind of external backup device.

Eerily similar to somegreybloke’s experience, except he only lost the internet.

I’m beginning to think he’s a bit of a guru when it comes to online matters. This internet thingy is complicated, and it helps to have a reliable guide who can explain it in simple terms. So here’s everything you need to know about internet acronyms, Facebook, and Twitter. Forget the For Dummies series of self-help books – all you need is Graham Murkett to get you up and running.