Putrid Poetry: A Wee Ballad

A Wee Ballad

Kintyre’s a woolly Argyll sock
And Campbeltown’s the heel
I’d take it off and hop away
The city streets to feel.

A83 is calling me
Come catch me in your coils
Whisk me away to Glasgow Town
[Whereat I’ll soak me boils.
Where I’ll enjoy her spoils.]

– poetmcgonagall, ayaladn & John McCallum

Done and dusted! Thanks to ayaladn and John for inspired final lines. A Beautiful Railway Bridge Putrid Poetry Award will be winging its way through the aether as soon as I’ve finished the design. Newcomers may be scratching their heads – what is this lunatic talking about? See below for the history.

Congratulations to alayadn and John for being the first recipients of this new award, which I only just invented while writing the post.

I can’t find a good rhyme for coils, despite going through the alphabet, to complete the last line. Fiendishly difficult. So I’m crowdsourcing this, and asking my readers to think up a 6 syllable line ending in a rhyme for coils. One option would be to do it entirely in Scots – tae Glesca Toon, for example – though I don’t feel qualified, having only the odd phrase. The winner will share authorship in the completed ballad, and be given the Beautiful Railway Bridge Award for Putrid Poetry. I am designing an appropriate badge, even as we speak, which you may display with pride on your blog.

7 thoughts on “Putrid Poetry: A Wee Ballad

    • Fear not – everyone’s a winner with putrid poetry. I will modify the post to include alternate endings, and you too will be given co-authorship and receive the Putrid Poetry Award. Congratulations!

      • I’m honoured! I have devoted my life to writing putrid poetry. What I like best doing is what I’m good at least.

      • It’s an honourable profession. Feel free to contribute entire poems – I’m thinking of starting something called the Putrid Poetry Patch, open to anyone. Are you by any chance Catherine’s other half?

      • Yes – the Patch seems a natural for a man of my talents! And indeed Cathy is my wife (current) though more of this later – one can not be too careful. In the meantime, I’ll review my past works, all of which are surprisingly unpublished, and select a few gems.

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