- Never agree with anybody. Insist that you’re right. If you’re wrong, don’t admit it.
- Point out the errors in people’s logic. Burst their bubble! Correct their pronunciation.
- Never underestimate the power of sarcasm and condescension. If all else fails, be insulting. When people object, insist that your ‘praise’ was misconstrued & they’re being too sensitive.
- When dining with others, talk about your exotic ailments or body functions. Exotic ailments involving body functions count as double.
- Try to see the negatives in any situation. Point out the foolishness of being optimistic.
- Try to avoid social functions & places where you might meet new people. Shun nature, beautiful sunsets, going for walks, etc. Stay home and watch TV instead.
- If you’re a minority, weird or otherwise “different”, consider moving to an out of the way place like Montana. They won’t tolerate you as well. Plus, there’s lots more room to be lonely…
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