Amyeighttrack's Blog

1. Never agree with anybody. Insist that you’re right. If you’re wrong, don’t admit it.

1. Point out the errors in people’s logic. Burst their bubble! Correct their pronunciation.

1. Never underestimate the power of sarcasm and condescension. If all else fails, be insulting. When people object, insist that your ‘praise’ was misconstrued & they’re being too sensitive.

1. When dining with others, talk about your exotic ailments or body functions. Exotic ailments involving body functions count as double.

1. Try to see the negatives in any situation. Point out the foolishness of being optimistic.

1. Try to avoid social functions & places where you might meet new people. Shun nature, beautiful sunsets, going for walks, etc. Stay home and watch TV instead.

1. If you’re a minority, weird or otherwise “different”, consider moving to an out of the way place like Montana. They won’t tolerate you as well. Plus, there’s lots more room to be lonely…

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