Colbert for President 2012

The Guardian reported yesterday that Stephen Colbert has taken the first step to running in the Republican primaries. On his show, The Colbert Report, he signed over authority to Jon Stewart to raise funds on his behalf. Thus opening the way to creating a super PAC, which can raise as much money as it likes for a candidate, as long as it’s not co-ordinating directly with the candidate.

The Blue Meanies won’t let me play or share clips from Friday’s show, but I do have Colbert’s epiphany on the Thursday show. A poll shows that, were he to run, he would get 5% of the Republican vote as against Jon Huntsman’s 4%. Watch Colbert struggling to make a decision in this video.

Obviously it’s satire, but American politics in general, and Republican politics in particular, are a parody of the democratic system. They are fueled by obscene amounts of corporate political donations, which were given a legal rubber stamp by the Supreme Court decision in the case of Citizens United.

Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission, 558 U.S. 08-205 (2010), 558 U.S. ––––, 130 S.Ct. 876 (January 21, 2010), was a landmark decision by the United States Supreme Court holding that the First Amendment prohibits government from placing limits on independent spending for political purposes by corporations and unions.

The creeping notion of corporate personhood has reached its apotheosis in this insane ruling, with dire consequences for American democracy, which wasn’t in great shape to begin with.

So if Colbert can draw attention to the absurdity of the situation by pretending to run for “President of South Carolina,” then he’s a hero. This what news media should be talking about, not leaving it up to a comedian.

A few suggestions for Colbert’s campaign:

1) Pronounce the last syllable of your name to rhyme with shirt. Republicans hate the French.

2) Choose Tina Fey as your running mate. She already has the Sarah Palin vote sewn up.

3) Adopt this campaign slogan: Colbert/Fey Go All The Way!!! Really, it’s a winner.

I hope that helps.

2 thoughts on “Colbert for President 2012

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s